Tuesday, December 29, 2015

How Mary Oliver teaches and inspires

Do These Poems Speak to You?

You gave me a book of poems ~
Felicity, what does it mean?
   apt and pleasing
   expression in writing
but why the caution
   when headlong might save a life?
“They are her love poems you know.”
No, I didn’t know.
From Mary through you to me?

You speak of longing
then point out the poem on page 15,
   the one that contains death?
   and one of the poems contained a tree…
I am pleased to tell you…
   Mary loves trees, as do you and I, too.
But do trees love us
even with our saws and hatchets?
Why do we cut down what we love?

You told me you read this book cover to cover
like a novel, a love story.
   “You know how the climax
   comes in the middle?”
I want to cheat and peek at the middle poems
   get right to the essence of Mary, of love, of you.
I want quick answers
to those questions
that have no ready answers…

Do these poems speak to you
or speak of you between the lines
   like the space between
   rings in a tree stump
like the years between
   your beginning and end?
These poems are short,
potentially a quick read,

but I will take my time.



Upon your mother’s death

I search for a poem about fireflies
to send you maybe
Mary Oliver wrote something
about fireflies
so I don’t
have to it’s too hard
to write you too
hard to open
my heart
your grief 
I don’t know 
so I look
for a poem about fireflies
and find golden head Gannets, Whelks, Ghosts
but can you
catch them in a Mason jar
at dusk or in your fist
at nine years old
I don’t know
I didn’t know
you then or even now
but I know fireflies
and that quick swipe
on a muggy night
to catch
the light cupped
between my palms I can
crouch low on the freshly mown
lawn and peer
into the tiny cottage of darkness
I know
so I look again
for a poem about fireflies
and find Starfish, Rain in Ohio, Rage
and When Death Comes
like the hungry bear in autumn
but it is summer in Michigan
and a firefly
that lights on your wrist
as you cry it’s too hard
to be grown up these days
to be big all the time stand tall
and write you I don’t know
what to say
and it’s too hard
to write
about fireflies

------
And most recently:

A New Psalm
            for the 20th Anniversary of Bridgeport UCC 1998-2018

Do you think I know what I’m doing?
That for one breath or half-breath I belong to myself?
As much as a pen knows what it’s writing
Or the ball can guess where it’s going next.
~ Jelahuddin Rumi[1]

They asked her to do church differently.
So, the Word was Revised
and the Messenger was Mary,
“One day you finally knew
What you had to do and began…” [2]
Do you think I know what I’m doing?
Yes, they agreed:
            the curious
            the wounded
the sinners
the seekers
the fallible
            and the discontent
all God's children, wonderfully made:
            the chosen ones
            the delivered
            the pacifists and warriors
            the black, the brown
            the young, the old
            the men, the women
            and all those in between.
They came together under one roof.
            First to one house
            then to one school
            to one room
            and finally to an empty white church
                        that they painted a hopeful yellow.

And they filled the pews until the “they” became a “we”
and the Word was Rumi:
We are “folded into union
as the split-second when the bat meets the ball
and there is one cry between us.”[3]
Do you think I know what I’m doing?
As much as the ball can guess where it’s going.
She said, “Believe the good news of the gospel.
And as fallible as we are, we are no mistake.”
So we began to make a bridge and a port
            for the lonely
            the questioning
            the marginalized
            the other.
Again, the Word was Rumi:
“If you’ve not been fed, be bread.”[4]
So we made bread
and soup
protest signs
and gardens
            we made silk banners dyed with daffodils
            and we made music, so much music.
“We are clay,” we sang
until the “we” became I.
And as fallible as I am
I am no mistake?
And I am loved unconditionally?
And I am welcome at your table?
And I matter?
I sang “Testify to Love” until “I” became “you”
and you sang “…like eagle that Sunday morning…
To pray you open your whole self
To sky, to earth, to sun, to moon
To one whole voice that is you...”[5]

Do you think I know what I’m doing?
She said, “Be responsible, but carry no guilt.
Be mindful, but carry no shame.”
And again the Word was Mary:
“You do not have to be good
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.”[6]
And again the Word was Rumi:
“Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there”[7]
as fallible as you are
because you are no mistake

and you are loved unconditionally by God
            Beloved
            Creator
            One.

Time passed.
And the Word was Mark, “…there are no wrong turns,
only unexpected paths.” [8]
The “you” became “they”
and they found courage for renewal.
He said, “Bridgeport?  Yes!”
and the “they” became “we” again.

Time passed
then she said, “We are the church.”
We are the right and the wrong
            the pain and the balm
            the shouts and the song.
We are the death and the resurrection
            the thorn and the bloom
the soil and the seed that will sustain us.
We are peace where there is war
            and we are a sanctuary where there is none.
We are the church
and “We are God’s children, wonderfully made.
As fallible as we are, we are no mistake.
Be responsible, but carry no guilt.
Be mindful, but carry no shame.
Believe the good news of the gospel —
you are loved unconditionally by God.
May the peace of Christ be with you.”[9]









~Wendy Thompson, 6/10/2018



[1] all Rumi references translated by Coleman Barks in Open Secret: Versions of Rumi
[2] The Journey by Mary Oliver
[3] Folded Into the River by Rumi
[4] The Image of Your Body by Rumi
[5] Eagle Poem by Joy Harjo
[6] Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
[7] #158 by Rumi
[8] The Book of Awakening  by Mark Nepo
[9] Affirmation of Humanness by The Reverend Doctor Susan Leo



Saturday, December 26, 2015

Christmas Eve at Twin Spruce Hollow



Consecrated nights. Snow mounds silent in muted moonlight. White pine boughs bristle with icicles over Twin Spruce Hollow pond ~ firmly frozen, skated over, struck with bladed plectrums ~ lucid accents ring silver through whooping pewter echoes of crack-the-whip. From an indeterminable distance amid black walnut woods I hear the hoot owl’s sonorous song, how der do hoo hoo. Wild fox eyes glow between sinister shadows, but I do not fear the night: for sleigh bells hang on the farmhouse door and a golden light from the toasty kitchen casts a warm welcome across snow drifts, how der do hoo hoo. Redolent oak smoke spirals from chimney tops and the last batch of sugar cookies has just been pulled from the oven. When the muffled groan of the hoot owl taking wing sounds like a tempest brewing in the forest, I do not fear the night for I know I will hear my dad’s melodious response to the owl’s cry. How der do hoo hoo? With an impudent grin he will reply, Great, fantastic, never been better. and I will know all is alright in the night. Stockings are hung by the chimney with care and the tree, a Norwegian spruce cut from the back hill, is strung with bubble lights. Outside, Dad trimmed the holly bush a sparkling white then positioned red and green floodlights as a jovial greeting for all who venture down the gravel driveway, how der do hoo hoo. One lambent stripe of emerald light shines through my bedroom window, over the quilt, on to my cheek, a soft glow like a father’s lullaby of love and I do not fear the night.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Self Care in Transformative Language Arts (TLA) Practice

The experiment of rocks in a container that still has room for sand and still more room for water is a powerful reminder when I think of self-care as the rocks, the first thing to put into my container. In the past two years I’ve hustled up enough part-time work to nearly replace my full time job…but there are no paid vacation days, sick days, or even weekends. I’m working constantly. Granted, I’m delighted with the work, but it’s all consuming. Last weekend was the first break from all work since April. I went to the coast for a wedding. Saturday morning I woke at my usual 6:00 a.m., brewed some coffee and sat down in front of the window facing the ocean with my Power of Words homework and journal. I could hear the crash of the surf, but the view out the window was still black except for the reflection of the reading lamp. I went to work with the “TLA snapshots.”
Pat Schneider offered me a ray of insight, “Not being able to write is a learned disability…If you can daydream, you can write. If you can cuss, pray, joke, tell what happened in the hospital cafeteria to a friend -- you can write.” Nancy Shapiro via Flannery O’Connor illuminated my morning with, “I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say.” Then Pam Roberts affirmed with a bit more light, “…everyone has a story and…the telling and the hearing of our stories is healing. And in this healing lies the realization that we are more than just our stories.” And so I write…just a few lines about the swelling rivers back home, the sink hole on our street, the power of water, of rain and floods and ocean waves, their blue white foam just now becoming visible through the thin transparent piece of glass, which with walls and corners, and a roof protect me from the elements. I write about the awesome and awful power of water…only 100 yards away like death roars. How is it that I feel more alive with the possibility of death so near? How is it the five stalks of sea weed clinging to the basalt wall between me and the ocean manage to survive the constant barrage of waves? How is it seagulls trust the currents above enough to still their wings and just ride…flipping 360 degree like a Blue Angel? How is it the lacy white spray at the crest of a wave looks so harmless?
The sun has risen, as it does every morning. “…no matter how thoroughly we have convinced our intellects…our unaided animal senses… Whether we are scientists or slackers, we all speak of the “rising” and the “setting” of the sun, for this remains our primary experience of the matter” (Abram, 114). I put down my pen, my work, my worries, my thoughts, my creations, metaphors, dreams, and plans; for the first time in months, I allow myself to just be with the ocean and the gulls. I release to Abram’s suggestion to stop looking at nature as “a fixed and finished entity waiting to be figured out by us” and instead view it as “an enigmatic presence with whom we have been drawn into relationship” (118).
And I am renewed.

What is your songline?

"It's time to get up, it's time to get up, it's time to get up in the morning" my mother would sing to the tune of reveille. Repeat once with words and again with your own version of a blaring trumpet complete with “raspberry spray.” Despite the fact that my mom couldn’t hold pitch, she’d sing all day (even in the grocery store) and into the night even around the Girl Scout campfire (much to my embarrassment). Silly songs like do your ears hang low do they wobble to and fro will pop into my head even today at the most surprising times. I remember my brothers obnoxiously changed ears to boobs, can you tie em in a knot can you tie em in a bow accompanied by obscene gestures. Some of the Girl Scout songs my mom sang, like Make New Friends, taught me lessons. Some taught me history, like Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow about the Chicago fire. Others were just nonsensical like:
I'm a hayseed. My hair is seaweed.
And my ears are made of leather and they flop in stormy weather.
(What is it about my mom's generation and flop ears?)
Gosh oh, hemlock, strong as a pine knot.
I'm a senior can’t you see.
So what do you do on a Saturday night
when all the girls have gone to the fight
and a boy's best friend is his mother
fireman, fireman save my child
good evening friends
bow out
It wasn’t until preparing a slide show for my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary that I discovered that Gosh o Hemlock was a Mickey Rooney expression. Incidentally, Mickey Rooney owned the Downingtown Inn in my home town in Pennsylvania. I didn’t learn the origins of Big Rock Candy Mountain until I was teaching a history lesson about the depression. I realized then that my mom had replaced cigarette trees with sugar plum trees.This was our lullaby…although I’m not sure how the buuuzzzin of the bees helped us calm down for sleep.
My mom was what I always referred to as an instructional mom (as opposed to a snuggling mom). She wasn’t big on cuddles or hugs and never fussed over our physical or emotional pains. Perhaps that was her Midwestern German heritage. To this day she struggles with saying, “I love you.” When I say it to her, she stutters back over the phone, “Yeah, okay, well then, bye now.” She may not have been physically affectionate, but she taught us all we needed to know to survive in this world. She taught we four kids a slew of songs along with how to build a camp fire, ice skate, make buddy burners and sit-upons, dive in the deep end of the pond, peel an apple, sew a plaid skirt, dip beeswax candles…her repertoire was extensive. I realize now that I learned how to teach from my mom. She was leading us in hands-on, integrated, project-based learning in Brownie Girl Scouts before those terms and methods of teaching were ever acknowledged by the experts.
My favorite song Mom sang was, Skinnamarink. I liked it in part because I thought it was written just for me. I was quite a long thin drink of water when I was a kid and my parents called me skinny gink. Also, my mom sang this song to me in a low whisper just as I was falling asleep at night.
Skinnamarink a dink  a dink
Skinnamarink a do,
I love you!

Skinnamarink a dink  a dink
Skinnamarink a do,
I love you!

I love you in the morning,
And in the afternoon
I love you in the evening,
Underneath the moon…

Skinnamarink a dink  a dink
Skinnamarink a do,
I love you!