Parker Palmer's Repelling Experience

My friend sent me a copy of Parker Palmer's Zen Outward Bound climbing experience...similar to my rock climbing story. I wanted to share the end of his writing because it articulates my understanding.

""Then," said the second instructor, "it's time that you learned the Outward Bound motto."

"Oh, keen," I thought. "I'm about to die, and she's going to give me a motto!"

But then she shouted ten words I hope never to forget, words whose impact and meaning I can still feel: "If you can't get out of it, get into it!"

I had long believed in the concept of "the word become flesh," but until that moment, I had not experienced it. My teacher spoke words so compelling that they bypassed my mind, went into my flesh, and animated my legs and feet. No helicopter would come to rescue me; the instructor on the cliff would not pull me up with the rope; there was no parachute in my backpack to float me to the ground. There was no way out of my dilemma except to get into it -- so my feet started to move, and in a few minutes I made it safely down.

Why would anyone want to embark on the daunting inner journey about which Annie Dillard writes? Because there is no way out of one's inner life, so one had better get into it. On the inward and downward spiritual journey, the only way out is in and through."

I have been asked by several people lately, "What will your job prospects be after completing a degree in Transformative Language Arts and Poetry Therapy?" At first I thought that I needed to yet again justify my choices based on society's standards of success (namely income, security, recognition, fame). Now I realize that I am moving in a direction that I can no longer avoid, the "daunting inner journey," the call, regardless of what society's barometer reads regarding my potential success. I remember when I decided to be a dance major in Utah my mother kept asking, "Why Utah?" with the unspoken question, "Why dance?" I finally quieted her by saying, "I don't know why. I just know it is right." I feel the same way about pursuing a degree in Transformative Language Arts, selling my house, entering unemployment and not seeking a full time job with health insurance. This is the right move for me and I'm willing to give it all up to take that horrifyingly risky step to get into it, to get into my life, my journey, through and eventually out into a place I can't even imagine...A place of purpose and intention.